Wednesday, August 24, 2011

"Blessed are those whose strength is in You,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion." - Psalm 84: 5-7

I believe these verses speak one message: "God will give you the strength to seek Him, if you will do so with all of your heart." It makes the intentions of the believer so clear: he has set his desire on God, and he will follow through with this journey by the grace of God. Even when they pass through a place of dryness and tribulation, by the time they are through, it will be a blessing. But what I love the most is verse 7: to go from strength to strength... it doesn't say from strength to weakness to strength to weakness again, repeat.... It says strength to strength. I sure don't feel like I go from strength to strength all the time... yet the Bible contradicts that, which means only one thing: the things that I perceive to be stumbles and weaknesses are being used by God to be made into strengths. But it's not just for the sake of being strong. These things are happening because God is making sure that I will appear before Him in Zion; not only when I die and am taken to heaven, but in this life. This is my confirmation that God is working everything out in such a way that when I look back, I will see a series of quickenings and disciplines that led me to see Jesus in the here and now.

Let's be "confident of this: "[We] will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." (Psalm 27:13)

Monday, August 22, 2011

Examining & Controlling the Heart’s Desires

JESUS:
My son, you will have many things to learn which you have not yet fully grasped.

DISCIPLE:
What things, Lord?

JESUS:
You must conform ALL your desires to My good pleasure and stop loving yourself, and earnestly desire that My will be done.

You frequently burn with desires that powerfully impel you to action, but what is the motive behind your actions? Is it My honor or is it your own self-interest? If I be the motive, then you will be satisfied with whatever I decide for you; but if it be your own self-interest, then this is what puts the brake to your progress and slows you down.

2. Therefore, be careful not to rely too heavily on your own desires without first consulting Me. You may later on find that you are sorry and displeased with what once pleased you and what you once thought the better thing to do.

Not every desire that seems good has to be carried not, nor is everything feeling contrary to your desires to be avoided. Even in good desires and endeavors it is sometimes necessary to hold yourself back; otherwise, overeagerness may result in dissipation of energies. At the same time, your lack of self-control may give offense to others and their opposition, in turn, may dishearten you and cause you to give up.

3. You sometimes have to resort to strong measures and manfully go against your sense appetites, disregarding what your flesh wants or does not want, and endeavor to subject it, though unwilling, to the spirit. The flesh has to be chastised and held down until it learns to give obedience in all things, to be satisfied with little, happy with what is simple, and not grumble about any physical discomfort.

.....................................................

I read this chapter in Thomas a Kempis' book The Imitation of Christ and it really made me examine the motives of my own heart. Is everything I do, say, and act upon really for God's honor and glory, or is it in my own self-interest? Kempis says, "if it be your own self-interest, then this is what puts the brake to your progress and slows you down." This is exactly how I feel sometimes. I feel stunted, stagnant, and spiritually starving. I'm still in the race, but I feel like i'm crawling, dragging myself along the narrow road instead of running with endurance. I believe God will still use and speak to the struggling believer, but I want to be more effective & grow daily in Christ.

It made me think of Jesus' life here on earth. He always consulted His Father before doing anything and selflessly did His Father's will. Consequently, the people around Him were healed & full of hope. You look at His ministry here on earth, and even as He's the Intecessor in heaven, and it's a ministry of building up and breathing life into the broken and dead.

I mean, the title of the book says it all, no? This is the way to imitate Christ. We must examine our heart's desires, but also need to ask the Lord to try to reins of our hearts to put them under His submission.

Lord, we have many things to learn which we have not yet fully grasped. But, give us teachable hearts and a spirit of understanding. Give us the courage and strength to see the truth in ourselves so that we can turn and follow You. It's not in our nature to want the things of God, this is a supernatural working of your Holy Spirit. So, fill us with Your Holy Spirit that we may obey and serve You selflessly.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Home-Sickness

When I was in Korea for a week, I missed everything. From American bathrooms to hamburgers, to home and just knowing where I was. I'm a type of person who likes to know where they are, whether it be a city name or just knowing I'm heading north, south, east or west but in Korea, my sense of direction was completely off. So when I finally knew I was on my way to the airport to go back home, I was excited to know that I was heading in the right direction..that is I was going back home to New York.

But these thoughts crossed my mind while I was slowly approaching the airport, "Why do I want to go home so much?" I did miss things that could only be found at home but I started to ask myself, "Why do I want to leave so badly?" Simply, because Korea wasn't my home. This wasn't the place I was meant to be in. If I had to live in Korea, sure I could survive because it had the things I need to live but I did not belong there. My life was in New York.

I couldn't help but connect this to Narnia because C. S. Lewis does a great job portraying this sense of not belonging and desire for home in The Horse and His Boy. This is similar to the longings within all of us for heaven but I started to realized it was actually for the presence of God. I think we often get confused with what heaven is suppose to be because we see it portrayed with pictures of clouds, angels, a lot of light and halos but heaven is simply being in the presence of God for eternity. That here on earth, as we spend time in His presence, the longing for heaven grows because we get a taste of it and know what it will be like. And just like when I was in Korea and wanted to be back home, so will we start seeing we weren't meant to live here on earth but we were meant to be in heaven, in the presence of God.

I'll finish this post by borrowing something else from C. S. Lewis: “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy because they were there to arouse, to suggest the real thing. That real thing is heaven.”